Stolen Vows

The Illusion of No-Fault Divorce and
The Rise of the American Divorce Industry

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Excellent site...I just read your article on Catholic Exchange. I have never understood why the church works so hard to fight abortion and does nothing about the shredding of families, like mine. I can't begin to say how hard divorce has been on my daughter...it has literally ruined her life. WHERE is the church in this? Isn't murdering a family grounds for excommunication? How can divorce--especially no-fault divorce--not be a mortal sin?
Leo Marks
Omaha, NE USA - Monday, January 17, 2005 at 20:58:12 (PST)

I am a devoted Catholic man who was subjected to a divorce. In a marriage of 13 yrs. to a previously married woman of the same age. I was told by a friend that my wife didn't want a divorce, but she also told them that see didn't want to be married to me. We had some problems with the blended marriage but certainly in my mind nothing that couldn't be worked out with some outside help. Please put me on your mailing list if one exists. I would still like to pursue retrieving what we once had and also want to make it better than it was. We as a couple and our children as a family have lost so much.
Steve Gerlach
Neillsville, Wi USA - Monday, November 01, 2004 at 16:27:56 (PST)

Another path to accomplish your end is through reform of the current practice at Catholic marriage tribunals in America of granting decrees of nullity on demand. Marriages among Catholics can be the model for family life, much like the Holy Family. But that can only happen if diocesan marriage tribunals start ruling on sacramental marital validity in concert with Catholic doctrine. For those in need of finding the truth about the validity of their sacramental marriage, help is available. Feel free to contact me at the email address supplied here. Glad you've added a link to the Hoopes article in Crisis Magazine. I believe I was involved in that article's genesis, but there is another story. God bless you in your work.
Pat Delaney
Washington, DC USA - Wednesday, October 13, 2004 at 04:52:16 (PDT)

Judy, Thank you for taking the time to let us know that there are people out there that believe in marriage and the family. I am the proud mother of three children. They are 19,21 and 16. Their father, a Mayo physician, decided he wasn't happy and initiated a two year divorce process.Through faith and the support of family and friends we are doing our best to move forward.You are appreciated for all your hard work!!!
Ann Engle
Paradise Valley, AZ USA - Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 00:34:40 (PDT)

I'm standing in faith that our "DEAR LORD" will heal & restore my marriage. In 1999 my husband decided he wanted out of our marriage. I have not read your book, money is very tight now. But I support you in all you are doing. Grow in Grace,
Helen
TN USA - Saturday, April 24, 2004 at 13:56:25 (PDT)

Judy, LONG ago, I told others that this system was evil, that I had no rights, that I could not stop the divorce from rolling over us, but that I would not cooperate, participate in any way other than an agreement regarding our children and finances. I stood, nearly alone. I watched others telling me that "God told them that they could get a divorce" going on to marry again in spite of Jesus' Words on the subject in four separate places in Scripture (and NOWHERE does MY name appear... for those who tell me God tole Me one thing, and another thing to you) as well as the thundering words of the Father in Malachi 2. We were 'court-ordered' to attend ONE counseling session put on by Outagamie Co. where we were all (a whole roomful of attendees for a counseling session?) told that the object was to make us angry and 'get it over faster'. Shortly after we were THROUGH the divorce system, we were court ordered into mediation. At no time was I heard by anyone but my attorney who had even tried at the last minute to get the hearing called off in a dramatic scene begun by my children's father. My friends, who also did not want divorces began to get letters from our Tribunal asking them about dating and wedding day to their 'former spouses'. At no time did they feel support from the Tribunal that their marriage was still IN THE EYES OF THE CHURCH and GOD still existent. To be truly following the beliefs of the Church, these letters should have NEVER called them a 'former' spouse until and IF the marriage was judged "NULL". Hence, it became apparent to many that even the local Church viewed it as finito. And they then felt totally deserted. I, as a result, can not sign the application forms which state that I believe my marriage to have been invalid. I neither believe that nor do I believe God believes that. I therefore, live my vows in spite of what the State says. As a result, I am often told that I am living in a fantasy world, embittered and rigid, and need to get on with my life, and let him be happy, etc. LOL. Above all, God desires obedience, and He helps those of us who choose to live Covenant and pray Mercy for those who 'do not know' or choose not to know. My decision to avoid the Tribunal Boards were confirmed in 1998 when the Holy Father reprimanded the Tribunals for granting too many 'annulments'. I can have one just for signing the papers, due to alcoholism being a diagnosis. I have been told that on NUMEROUS occasions by 'those who know'. But I would have to sign my name to a lie just as evil as what they wanted me to sign in 1984 and 1985 in the Civil court system. God desires obedience. To those who believe that I have given my life to a distortion of Church teaching, I now also have heard and read the Holy Father's words saying that Tribunal Boards are to assume VALIDITY of the marriage, contrary to the 'former spouse' wording of application papers, etc. Each aspect of separation/divorce was covered in your book, with all of my suspicions corroborated and affirmed. While I had no 'legal' knowledge of what they had done to marriage, I certainly 'knew' it by experience and discernment. God bless you, Judy, and I continue to THINK BIG of all possible future ramifications of those of us who had no due process, no say, no choice. And, welcome HOME my sister in Christ!
Marcia
WI USA - Tuesday, April 13, 2004 at 17:34:18 (PDT)

Dear Judy After reading you book Stolen Vows, I was so extreamly impressed with the depth and perception you have given to what a marriage truly should be, as opposed to what it is in todays world . with all those sewer rats calling themselves Lawyers raking in the bucks at the expence of our families and children. as you know from our e-mails i am going through a divorce right now. I have been seperated for three years now still hoping and trying to work things out. when she sent me the divorce papers. after a few days of talking to lawyers and checking the internet for info I was on my last thread then a friend gave me your book Stolen Vows, after reading it. I jumped on your web read some more and I am now preparing to fight for my children, my wife, my family, my marriage, my whole life, your book has given me a new perspective. Save the Marriage. I thought i was the only one who wanted to save a marriage. thanks to you judy I realize I am never Alone. I am never on my own. We all just need to get on our knees and ask God for help, then roll up our sleeves and get to the doing. God truly does help those whom help themselves. My trust is in God and people like Judy Parejko. Thank you Judy. God bless.
Larry Bonnell
Salt Lake City, Ut USA - Monday, April 12, 2004 at 00:56:09 (PDT)

A friend called my attention to your web site this morning. You are so right about the American Catholic Church aiding people in getting divorced, then granting declarations of nullity so they can marry again. For what? To set a bad example for their children? To make their children miserable in step-families? To increase the percentage of second marriages also failing, which they do? The lack of action among Catholic bishops and priests on the subject of divorce is truly appalling. I am working on exposing the scandal of annulments, most of which are invalid under Church law. It is the annulment scandal that is feeding the divorce scandal among Catholics.
Sheryl Temaat
Monument, CO USA - Tuesday, March 23, 2004 at 09:42:12 (PST)

I was so pleased with your article on the illusion of the Divorce system. I'm very resently divorced and I feel as if a Large truck ran me over and their was no one their to help me recover. My husband filed for divorce for no good cause. He was just tired of being married. He was granted that divorce because of being separate and apart for a year. He brought in a witness from out of state and told him when to say that he (my husband left the home). My attorney was against me fighting the divorce from the begining. She never provided me with proper legal advise. The delay in the divorce proceeding's was strictly me requesting certain thing's like Counceling, refusing to accept a seperate and apart ruling before an acutal year was up,and the move my husband made when he filed banckrupt during the divorce. After all of that my husband still filed for divorce. By the final trial I felt beat-up. So I walked into court on January 28, 2004 (it resembled a gas chamber) and the judge without any for-thought ended my marraige. Now their trying to tell me nothing is valid unless I sign my final judgment. How can this be when the decesion to divorce was made without my verbal or written consent.
Avis Smaw
Toledo, Oh USA - Friday, February 06, 2004 at 11:48:58 (PST)

Who is Judy Parejko? Where was she when I needed her? Where is she now? Does she do guest appearances? Why doesn't my greater Southwest Chicago Area (IL) library system show Stolen Vows in its catalog? I have to go now but I will be back some day. Peace & Love.
Jim Ols
Burbank, IL USA - Monday, January 05, 2004 at 16:15:16 (PST)

I have been unlawfully divorced in 1998 against my stated objection without a lawful cause. Moreover, I was finacially devasted by being given all liabilities and none of the assets. The case is in Wood County, Ohio and I am not sure if my Attorney is working for me. I have ADA disabilities from the years of injustice and corruption at the hands of this court. Frankly, there was insufficient cause. I need to talk to another Attorney that I can trust. I live on social security, we wehe married for 34 years and we had substaintial assets my X purchased a golf club condo after the divorce. I live in subsetised housing and the court is protecting corrut magistrate with political connection and I am from the wrong party. The magistrate has since been fired for tampering with the record the case he was fired for went to a traveling jude to do over. The court is stone walling and my case is about fraud upon the court. Help, I need advise.Kurt G. Kluge
Haddonfield , NJ USA - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 12:36:30 (PST)

The "no-fault divorce law" as practiced in the state of Florida, should be declared unconstitutional as it denies basic rights to certain individuals. I got married in 1970 in the state of New Jersey and moved to Florida with my wife and four children in 1983. After 27 years of faithful marriage on my part, my ex-wife filed for divorce under Florida’s no-fault divorce law, by claiming that the marriage was “irretrievably broken.” I did not know at the time she had become sexually involved with a doctor she was working with. The reason she gave me for her decision to divorce me was that “You are a boring person”. Before filing for the divorce, she had breast augmentation surgery, face lift surgery and had her dark brown hair dyed blond. Since the divorce in 1997, she has been receiving permanent alimony for the past six years in the amount of $1,400.00 per month. She has also been receiving another $1,700.00 per month, which represents half of my 30-year monthly pension annuity. To date, this divorce has cost me over a quarter of a million dollars. The most disgusting part of this whole horrible experience is that the state of Florida did not consider my right to a fair trial before stripping me of half of everything I had spent my whole life working for. Twenty-five years after I was married, the state of Florida changed the law. I consider myself a victim of bad law that was passed without fully considering the rights of, and unfair consequences to all individuals.
Richard R. Coords
Jacksonville, FL USA - Sunday, November 23, 2003 at 09:25:37 (PST)

I read with interest your recent article at Catholic Exchange. First a couple of important points of clarification: ---Roe v. Wade and the recent privacy case upheld the Constitutionally guaranteed right to privacy. We know the result, but contrary to uneducated opinion the Supreme Court does not make laws, it only guarantees whether laws are valid or not. To end abortion--a worthy goal--we need legislation against abortion, period. Second, while we might all love to see marriages prepared for by well suited and Church counseled spouses married validly as a sacrament, that it only one avenue open. Because the governments, both federal and state, subsidize opposite sex marriage economically and otherwise, it is unfair to refuse this opportunity to consenting adult same-sex couples because of privacy and equal protection. The Church will refuse the sacrament as it does in certain opposite sex cases. However, this does not prevent strait people from getting quickie civil marriages at drive through chapels in Vegas and the like. These couples then enjoy the same civil priveleges. I was unaware , as I'm sure many others are,that a "select group of lawyers," push the "Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act." You have shown some of the abuses inherent in no fault divorces, and I'm glad the organizational background has been brought to light. However, one of the main reasons for adopting no-fault divorce laws is that the previous laws were harmful too. The classic case is the married couple where the husband works outside and the wife works inside the home where she also cares for children. In the past, the husband could physically abuse the wife and/or children and since the husband was the breadwinner, he could hire a lawyer to defend his actions while the battered wife with babies hanging from her arms was virtually helpless and without resources to end a horrible situation for herself and her children. Yes, I think completely no-fault pushes the line too far, BUT how do you respond to the scenario above which was largely the impetus for such laws? I would sincerely like to hear your feedback.
Troy Doyle
Gainesville, FL USA - Monday, November 03, 2003 at 09:42:26 (PST)

Where to begin? First, Stolen Vows is a real landmark. More than that, it is a life preserver for all of us who feel -- rightly -- that we're about to drown in the wave of irrational and unjust "no fault" divorce laws which are designed solely to fatten the vultures of the matrimonial bar and that serve the further purpose, perhaps accidentally, perhaps not, of turning marriage into another case where one's commitments mean nothing.
Stolen Vows serves an even greater purpose -- it tells us that we are not alone. That the fight is worth fighting. That if enough of us say, no shout, "NO!" our collective voice shall oneday be heard.

Sadly, it may not happen in time to save our own marriages, but if we keep at it, it will happen in time to prevent other people from finding themselves in the position we now must face. In that respect, it is a fight for some unpopular things: Justice. Right triumphing over wrong. Character (for who can doubt that the character of someone seeking divorce as a first choice is terribly damaged?). Judy has undertaken the fight even though she is not in a divorce court but instead because she has seen terrible, truly harmful injustice and has decided that it must not stand. I hope that we can all pledge to stand beside her even after the immediate crises that brought us here are over, and that we be the last generation of Americans subject to the abomination of "no fault" divorce.
Dennis E. Powell
Newtown, CT USA - Thursday, October 23, 2003 at 10:00:40 (PDT)

Bless you and your wonderful work. I am a NY lawyer (I don't handle "matrimonials") and a father of two in a difficult marriage. I am having something of an epiphany after reading about the extent of paternity fraud, and the recent book on the "Two Income Trap." We need accountability for BOTH sexes, women not less than men, and we need to deter (among other things, by a presumption of joint parenting/no relocations and re-examination of the Choic Support Guidelines, which GA and TN judges have rightly found by be unconstitutional) the many women who leave their husbands for light causes and do so much harm to their children, their husbands, and themselves.
Geoffrey Pope
White Plains, NY USA - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 at 15:44:40 (PDT)

Dear Mrs. Parejko, Great site! I was writing my journals on Jane Eyre and wanted to use your book as a source for my information on just how easy it is to get a divorce these days and how Easily Rochester could escape his wedlock in the present time. Nevertheless, I wanted to write a comment saying that the first three chapters of your book were absolutely captivating. Your guestbook testifies to how much it's touched individuals around the nation.
Alicia Hartung
WI USA - Saturday, March 08, 2003 at 17:21:04 (PST)

God Bless you for the work that you do. Your website has Blessed me and encouraged me. Please keep it going.
Dave
Cleveland, Ohio USA - Tuesday, March 04, 2003 at 17:09:55 (PST)

Thanks for your interest. Good luck in the future.
Sperstad
USA - Sunday, February 02, 2003 at 13:14:20 (PST)

I am a State Representative in the state of Oklahoma and am currently proposing legislation that would limit the use of the "incompatibility" ground as a reason for divorce. My legislation would only allow the use of "incompatibility" for those who mutually consent to the divorce and who don't have minor children from that marriage. Please send me any information and documentation that will be an aid in my legislation proposal.
Mike O'Neal
Enid , OK USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 11:08:50 (PST)

Thank you so very much for writing a book so timely and important to our society and our way of life as we know it. Marriage has historically been one of the most basic and unifying institutions in our great U.S. of A. Who dreamed up this notion which has become the law of the land that is able to dissolve such an institution without cause, or investigation into why there is "irretrievable breakdown?" Our children are the future of this great country, and what is it that we are teaching them? Work at something you believe in until you change your mind, or something better comes along? Stolen Vows should be required reading for essentially all persons. We not only need to know what is happening in our country, but it is our responsibility to know, especially something to this magnitude that essentially affects many of us, and will ultimately affect us all. Domestic violence is an unforgiveable crime that should be dealt with harshly, but is alot of this not a product of what we have done to relationships. The spread of knowledge is the best way to address this pivotal problem, and hopefully begin to formulate a "fix" for the problem. Maybe then, the domestic violence issue will fade to a shadow of its former self, and only those truly involved in "violent" domestic violence will be the ones we need to deal with. Ripping apart families attacks the most basic of our need or at least desire for true happiness, and leaves desperate and socially isolated victims. Is this what our Country is based upon? I think not! Please read and recommend Ms. Parejko's book, Stolen Vows to everyone that is important to you. Maybe with the spread of knowledge of what may well be a major problem in the U.S., we can better address and eventually solve this madness which threatens to destroy the whole basis of our society.
Tim J. Emerson, M.D.
San Angelo, TX USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 11:42:36 (PST)

Interesting book.
Lauren
New York, NY USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 08:16:03 (PST)

As a former pastor, businessman and now a 3 year separated husband, I have come to the view that it does not matter whether one does what is right, or wrong. It does not matter when one places family above all other efforts and commitments. It doesn't matter when one resists the efforts of other women who want to marry me, and that I stayed with my wife and children. It does not matter that one has NEVER "gone drinking" or "spent an evening with the boys". It doesn't matter that if one never harmed his wife through any form of abusive behavior. It doesn't matter that one took his family to church "every" Sunday of their lives. It does not matter that one spent 95% of his kids "before bedtime" with joyful and happy times with Bible stories and later Bible studies. I could go on and on. The only thing that matters is when your wife decides she wants out... your job is to get out of her way... and do nothing to try to restore the marriage. THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS!
Jim Standefer
Oklahoma City, Ok USA - Friday, October 25, 2002 at 21:27:10 (PDT)

GOOD SITE....
Anonymous - Friday, October 04, 2002 at 03:15:14 (PDT)

Judy, Thank you for writing this book. Your experience as a mediator provides valuable insights. It is frustrating that the courts are not willing to work harder to preserve marriage rather than just deal with the choice made by one spouse often to detriment of the other spouse and their children. Certainly, it is important for people to realize that no-fault divorce is actually unilateral divorce as too many people think that the law protects their commitment to their marriage, when in fact that is not true. Hopefully, this will open some eyes and generate some reforms.
Alan Parkman
Albuquerque, NM USA - Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 09:42:44 (PDT)

I'm sick and tired of the Province of Newfoundland saying that a court judge can split up a couple just because one person wants out. To me, a divorce is a way of running away from your problems. The Bible says what God has joined together let no man put asunder. It's about time that the USA and Canada join forces against the biggest family killer in the world: DIVORCE. There should never be any such thing. Thank you for your time.
Ralph Marshall
St. John's, NFLD Canada - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 17:27:56 (PDT)

As a long-time supporter of the institution of marriage and its sanctity, I was greatly encouraged to see you reveal the scam of faultless divorce perpetrated upon the American people in Stolen Vows. We have been "asleep at the wheel" now for many decades in this and other areas of law, and need to wake up to the fact that there are those who wish to erode and eventually destroy the God-ordained family unit. Religious leaders of our day often speak of the moral decay in our society as the sole reason for divorce, which has indeed occurred; however, you documented well how our lawyer-politicians have deliberately sold and delivered to us a bait and switch scheme to undermine the value of a life-long commitment between husband and wife. Coincident with your historical account of no-fault divorce has been the misapplication of federal and state welfare laws (beginning in 1975) that wrongfully characterize essentially all children of divorce as "needy" in the eyes of the state. This has further damaged parent-child relationships by unlawful child support orders and subsequent "custody" decisions that substantially remove one parent (usually the father) from their children, and drive that parent into poverty. Please continue your work to expose the evils of all aspects of the divorce industry. I wholeheartedly applaud you for the contribution you have already made, with the ongoing hope that we may someday help bring the appropriate remedies and restore justice and the rule of law. If not, I am quite certain that our nation will soon fail, in part, because of these atrocities. Meanwhile, I'll keep purchasing and distributing your books as often as possible.
Dave Witte
St. Paul, MN USA - Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 18:21:53 (PDT)

Your description of how no-fault divorce came to be is a valuable contribution to the understanding of relationship issues in our society. While I think (and most studies seem to validate), most people view marriage as a serious business, and the societal model of choice...I also think most of us greatly value freedom of choice in who we will live in intimacy with. Marriage must always be a choice, it can never be an obligation....human beings are not emotional property, and being treated as such is not healthy for the individual, or society. As frustrating as it may be sometimes, we all must have the right to choose how to live our lives, otherwise we eventualy end up with nazism, communism, and other such systems which place the needs of the state ahead of self-determination for the individual. An appropriate focus is to make entering marriage in the first place much more difficult, working on the problem at it's source....that does not seem to be discussed very much. When the inevitable happens, (because we do a poor job of mate selection), and one wants to leave a marriage, it does seem reasonable for the state to require a reasonable amount of intervention (counselling, time, etc.), to validate the desire for divorce. Lastly, it seems appropriate to enforce appropriate consequences when one chooses divorce, which means fault needs to be a factor.
Joseph Brooks
USA - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 21:37:12 (PDT)

Judy, I heard your interview on WWIB. I was very inspired by your steps taken. I am a Psychology major with a focus in Marraige and Family Counseling. I can't wait to read your book, it sounds to be just what America needs! Thanks for acting upon your convictions!
Rebecca Werner
Knapp, WI USA - Monday, September 16, 2002 at 09:28:16 (PDT)

Judy, I finally finished reading the book. Your coverage of 'no-fault' is very comprehensive. Now I understand how that monster (no-fault) moved so fast and completely across the nation from its 1969 creation in CA -- via NCCUSL (and the UMDA). The book is well-written; a truly quality work. You make a strong case for wiping-out the no-fault curse, except for cases of mutual consent -- which is acceptable. And the marriage hospital alternative is OK. I am really heavy on the Church role in healing sick (faith-based) marriages as a first line of defense against divorce. Any religious institution that can't minister to its families (or any family of that faith) is a fraud and ought to 'close shop,' being useless as "teats on a boar hog." STOLEN VOWS did stir-up again (temporarily) some anger at being reminded of the pain, suffering, humiliation, and devastating losses; to say nothing of the cruel helplessness one feels in trying to deal with a 'no-fault' divorce. It is an ungodly, inhumane, unconstitutional hell from which you seem never to escape. Only God can deliver one from such a dungeon-of-evil. That's why I am so high on an effective church role in handling requests (petitions) for separation or divorce from clergy-performed marriages. Continued blessings to you. I remain ready for all-out-war on 'no-fault,' and replacing it with strong, responsible church involvement, plus the marriage hospital.
Roland F. Carey
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 20:41:56 (PDT)

Dear Judy: I wanted to write you and thank you for introducing me to a new found hope. A hope that a door can and will open that will also open the eyes of husbands and wives to the real cost divorce has on the family. I know that it is God's plan that our two paths would cross and it was He who planted a deep passion for the family with in both of us. I have learned from heart breaking experience, experience that I have gained from 3 levels of divorce. My husband of 20 years, our daughter, mother of 4 and pregnant with her fifth when her husband left, and our son who left his wife and 2 children. All would not have happened if the family unit was given the dignity and protection that should accompany the very foundation of our society. I am not only willing, but hoping that through you many of us who share this same passion will work to obtain that dignity that is so necessary to keep the family unit intact, creating a stronger and healthier society. Thank You.
Rosemarie Podwoski
Memphis , TN USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:44:24 (PDT)

I am looking forward to reading your book and helping to fight this form of abuse.
Joan T. Kloth
Southbury, CT United States - Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 14:33:36 (PDT)

Judy, your book and your passion have been an inspiration to me in my personal battle with this system and the sense of national/cultural endorsement it gives to divorce. It is this sense that it is really OK that has been the proverbial straw in many cases, and has in fact become a sort of de facto moral compass for many therapists/counselors who are being relied upon to help couples revive a deteriorating relationship. They are failing, miserably, and it's time for a new direction on that compass. I wish you great success and offer my encouragement and support to stay in the fray for the good of our children's marriages. And I also thank you for your personal interest and time...you have helped me realize that the feelings I had about the process were valid. To me, that was my proverbial straw that provided the conviction to fight. I will help however I can.
Tony
Ga USA - Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 18:04:38 (PDT)

Thank you for your valuable work on behalf of preserving and restoring families.
Judge Darrell White (retired)
Baton Rouge, LA USA - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 15:43:01 (PDT)

I applaud your book's message after reading the first few chapters. In the past week I've also read with dismay a Rutgers study which blames men for the downturn in marriage, but in the past few days also heard the courageous rebuttals of a man and woman who write for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and noted the great secret which is that men are on strike with marriage. Many men are striking due the unfairness, but also the cruelty of which you speak, within the family law system. I have devoted my life to helping couples stay married because I know of too many families destroyed by the divorce business, which unfortunately also includes unethical and even moreso downright incompetent "marriage" counselors. Thank you so much, and keep up the good work. Sincerely, Damian Duplechain, Certified IMAGO Relationship Therapist, Houston
Damian Duplechain
Houston, TX USA - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 18:29:12 (PDT)

Great Book, points out how to fix the no-fault divorce curse that is upon all of our states and country! Judy is a professional that knows of what she speaks, she was forced out of her office, because of her beliefs. I was forced out of my paid for home on February 1, 2002. I am now homeless, except for my parents allowing me to stay with them temporarily and it's because I didn't want the divorce that my prodigal husband of 25 years, wanted. All my possessions were taken and auctioned off by the court appointed realtor, changes need to be made in our legislation and court systems in all states! Praises for Judy's book, Stolen Vows, it will be helpful in educating those that can make the changes that are needed!
Mona Hamilton
Middletown, OH USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:08:52 (PDT)

Judy, I really enjoyed reading the first few chapters of your book. You are doing important work and I commend you for it. I wonder what percentage of divorced people look back after a number of years have passed and wished that they had been given the opportunity to look at what were the real problems of their marriage? What if they had been given a chance to continue to be in a working marriage, with the help of say a Marriage Hosptial or with a system that held them accountable for their commitment? So often our first reaction to pain is flight. I guess this is a survival skill. It really is time to look at what we are commiting to when we choose to marry and perhaps choose to have children. Good luck Judy with getting the word out and with changing the system. It seems that the timing of your book is perfect.
Cathleen Perpich McCoy
WI USA - Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 11:35:22 (PDT)

Judy, I heard you today on Ian Punnet radio talk show this morning. I would like to thank you for introducing yourself on his show. I would not have known about you or your upcoming book without his help. I look forward to reading you online book. This is an excellent focal point on divorce. Thank you for your hard work and dedication on the subject of no-fault divorce.
Laura
Andover, MN USA - Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 07:59:58 (PDT)

You've spot-lighted a dark subject in todays society. Having been there personally I can appreciate the hard work and value of your effort. Just wish I'd met you 10 yrs. ago! You have a right to be very proud, I've no doubt the book will be a smashing success! Mine will be one of your first orders. Best of everything!
Sandy Buckalew
Galveston, TX USA - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 04:57:08 (PDT)

Nice job girl. Will look more later. You have worked hard and it shows!
Linda L. Kennedy
Portsmouth, VA USA - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 09:43:27 (PDT)

Three cheers for Judy, who keeps fighting for marriges where it counts. And she fights with the right weapons, compassion, passion for marriage, and knowledge of the problem of no-fault marriage. Stay in the battle, Judy!
Clark Cothern
Tecumseh, MI USA - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 06:23:56 (PDT)

Judy, Awesome book! I love the way you expose to the public what some would fight to keep hidden. Most of us never know we have been cheated out of our rights and our marriage covenants until those covenants are tested. Thank you, and I hope and pray your work will help protect families across this nation from this kind of destruction. Daniel J. Dick founder of www.nodivorces.com
Daniel J. Dick
Fresno, CA USA - Monday, April 08, 2002 at 19:11:13 (PDT)

Judy Parejko understands and describes with remarkable clarity and accuracy the fallout of no-fault divorce. She understands how spouses who are accused of the "crime" of incompatibility or irreconcilable differences have fewer rights than people charged with major felonies. They are convicted without question. There is no defense available and there is no trial based on evidence, other than the petitioning spouse's claim. And the sentence is severe, speedy, and mandatory with no probation: children forced to live a yo-yo lifestyle, marital assets divided with lawyers taking a significant portion, and of course the illegalization of a formerly legal contract with no respect for the vows that comprised that contract. Judy's work is essential reading for imperfect but loyal spouses who have had a divorce forced on them by a spouse who chooses to use a willing government as his or her personal agent for the destruction of their own family.
Patricia Owen
Albuquerque, NM USA - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 17:37:33 (PDT)

Judy, Excellent! I can't begin to express my gratitude for your standing up for your beliefs, witness, and willingness to do something about it. I continually pray that God guide and direct you and bless you, and continue to lead you into a very serious issue affecting not only our country, but international communities as well. I also continue to pray that you continue looking at issues within our communities with an open mind and heart, and that you see through Christ's eyes. God Bless and keep you. A fellow stander,
Mark Beach
Ben Wheeler, TX USA - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 09:46:33 (PST)

Great Website, Judy! I'm looking foreward to the publishing of your book. It was a great experience to work with you. Thanks!
Michael Franzkowiak
St.Augustin, NRW Germany - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 15:32:23 (PST)

As founder of CANDLE (Citizens Against NoFault Divorce Laws, Etc.), I have been a enthusiastic supporter of Judy Parejko from the start. I have dubbed Judy the "Joan Of Arc" of NoFault Divorce Reform. It is important to have a woman leading the fight, because much of the NoFault advocacy comes from National womens organizations. NoFault Reform must have a priority to protect familys with small children first. Direct Citizen Initiatives bypasses the Lawyer-dominated legislatures are are thus the best hope for reform. CANDLE has such an Initiative ready for California signature gathering. We hope and Pray that Judy's book will awaken the public to the destructioon of the family and point the way to NoFault Divorce reform. Judy - You go girl! Casey Parker, CANDLE
Casey Parker
Morgan Hill, CA USA - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 12:47:15 (PST)

I have witnessed your insight and compassion first hand but this preview gave me insight to how much of a personal struggle and sacrifice you have made for what you believe in. They say you can never know where you are going unless you know where you have been. Thank you for telling how we have gotten here to perhaps stop the run-away-train. God bless you.
Paul Smith
Cleveland, Ohio USA - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 09:49:00 (PST)

Thank you for the insider's scoop, Judy. Tell the world!
Ed Truncellito
Houston, TX USA - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 22:45:48 (PST)

Judy, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your hard work and dedication to writing Stolen Vows. I know that you spent many hours researching the facts that led up to the present day American Family Holocaust. Marriage and family is the foundation of society. Thirty years ago that foundation was ripped out from under our feet when No-fault divorce laws were enacted -- without our knowledge and against our wills. Thank you for caring enough about marriage to dig deep into the history of No-fault divorce and to expose the awful corruption that was forced on the American people. May God bless you and your work.
Michele Gauthier
Metairie, LA USA - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 20:59:46 (PST)

Hello! Please leave your comments here . . . about this web site, about the book, or about the 'divorce system'. Thanks! Judy Parejko
Judy Parejko
WI USA - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 10:24:39 (PST)

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